The Demons

I was haunted yesterday. The demons were louder than normal, screaming for my attention. We all have those days when the demons seem to surround us, choking us and cloaking us in darkness. They can be overwhelming, making us believe that our problems are so overwhelming that they cannot possibly be addressed. The demons were there last night as I left work. One around my neck, others crowding around my body, all whispering that I hadn't gotten everything done that was asked of me; that Sister-in-law's invitation to Hubby's ex-wife to her party, without telling us, was somehow my fault; that I was not only below expectation at work, but at home. The Demons were in their element and growing louder and stronger.

By the time I got home, I was exhausted. I could hear the whispering that told me that I didn't want to ride; I can't ride very well, after all, so why try? True, I thought, but I enjoy it..... But, the whispering continued, don't you want to just lock yourself in the house and be alone? Have a drink or two? Wallow in your misery? As I sat outside my house, I thought YES. I want to wallow in my misery. I want to be alone. I don't want to ride. The Demon held tighter around my throat. And then I heard it. Faint, but there. Pedal, Pedal, Pedal

Well, I thought, I know I suck, but I am in my car and my bikes are there, so what will it hurt to hop on the bike and go for a short ride. The Demons were not happy with this and their whispering got louder. WHY RIDE? You know you can't ride. You know that no one wants to ride with you.....

But from somewhere, came the same Pedal, Pedal, Pedal

I changed my clothes and got on my bike. It seemed heavier, what with all the Demons crowded onto the handlebars, around my neck and over my eyes. It was hard to see. But there I was, pedaling. Riding. The Demons held tighter.

I rode along, not really warmed up, thinking about all of the Demons in my life. The ones around my neck. The ones that cut off my air and make me feel like nothing is worth it. As I rode, I started to notice that the handlebars were not as heavy. One of the Demons had apparently fallen off - I could see it behind me, gaining, so I rode faster, until I couldn't see it anymore. I started up the long climb of what is affectionately known in our area as The Alps. It is a hard climb. And it takes concentration. Every bump in the road, every pothole, every branch must be seen. Concentration. Pedal, Pedal, Pedal

As I neared the top, I noticed that some of the other Demons had fallen off. They were nowhere to be seen. On the downhill, I picked up speed, paying careful attention to the road before me. It is a winding road and narrow, so concentration must be maintained. For a minute, I forgot that the Demons were tugging at me.

The rest of the way home was relatively flat, even slightly downhill. Pedal, Pedal, Pedal I pushed myself, conscious of the tightened grip that the remaining Demons had on my body. They whispered loudly, trying to break me from my concentration, but all I could see was the road. The Demons' grips loosened. Pedal, Pedal, Pedal The music from this mantra filled my brain and my body Pedal, Pedal, Pedal I pushed harder. I drove harder. Pedal, Pedal, Pedal The Demons could no longer maintain their grip. The remaining ones fell hard onto the rough tar road and I could hear them screaming in anger, but that quickly faded. Pedal, Pedal, Pedal

And I was flying Pedal, Pedal, Pedal over the street, my bike not touching the ground. A smile lit up my face, as I tapped my fingers to the rhythm of flight Pedal, Pedal, Pedal.

It took mere moments to return to my car and I doubt whether my feet touched the ground for the remainder of the night.

When the Demons threaten to overtake you, remember Pedal, Pedal, Pedal


"Riding is about rhythm and flow. It's the wind in your face and the challenge of hammering up a long hill. It's the reward at the top and the thrill of a high-speed descent. Biking lets you come alive both in body and spirit. After awhile the bike disappears beneath you and you feel as if you're suspended in midair" Gary Klein

"When the spirits are low, when the day appears dark, when work becomes monotonous, when hope hardly seems worth having, just mount a bicycle and go out for a spin down the road, without thought on anything but the ride you are taking." - Arthur Conan Doyle